Changes
Hey, it's been a while.
Partly because I couldn't get my blog page to work... but mainly because life has been hard. And honestly, it is hard to want to broadcast the hard for everyone to see and know. But that is part of life, it is not always pretty, but God is still good in the midst of that (even when we doubt).
So, changes? What changes? I have been trying to figure out for the past three months (yes, that long) how to say this or what to share... or how much? or is it even necessary? And struggling with even understanding enough myself to be able to explain it. I so wish I could sit down over coffee and chat with you, but that unfortunately hasn't been possible yet so here it goes... life has taken some big turns and now that my donors know (if you have not heard yet and you are a donor, please please please forgive me as many details have fallen through the cracks in the shuffle, please reach out!)
Okay, at the end of September I was let go of the job I have poured my heart into for the past five years (plus the two years of transition where I still lived and breathed Makarios). And given the situation, Tatis decided to leave too as we looked forward into next steps together. And honestly, it was probably one of the hardest things that I have gone through. It felt like my whole life and identity was being taken, but at the same time as if I could breath again. A mix of relief as things had been hard for a while, and I can go into more details if you would like to reach out... but the point is, we were not expecting it and we were far from prepared for it. We felt the whole rollercoaster of emotions, questioning, wishing things were different, hurt, hope, fear, excitement.
We have tried to take things step by step and let God move us forward. And honestly, even though it was hard, we saw His provision in so many ways. As we shared with family, as we shared with donors, as we mourned with our co-workers, the students and my cherished mom friends who I have worked with for the past few years. Even though we couldn't see it, we believed that God was moving us forward into something else. So we prayed and waited. Then the week of our wedding celebration (that finally happened a year and a little bit late), we were given a big surprise.
A couple days before my family arrived, I received a positive pregnancy test... we couldn't believe that God was providing for us in that way after the month we had... but after another test, it was confirmed. We celebrated with our family and began to dream about the future with another addition to the family! Although, a little part of me felt it was too good to be true. That it wouldn't last, and unfortunately, the day before my family left, we spent the day in the emergency room as we lost the pregnancy.
Which brought a whole different level of questioning, of mourning, of not understanding, but still trying to hold onto hope. What we are sure of is that our community has brought us through this all as they have continuously pointed us back to Christ. Back to the hope we have in Him, even when we don't understand what He is doing. Reminding us that He has good plans for us, even when we don't see how. And reminding us of testimonies of what the Lord has done. Reminding us that He loves us and is with us.
And as we trust and fix our eyes on Him, we have seen his guidance and opening doors. Honestly, we are still terrified, part of me doubts often that the good things will come, but the truth still remains: God is good, even when our circumstances are not.
In the midst of it all, we have seen God guiding us towards serving more and more in Young Life. We took over 30 kids to camp this summer and another 25 to growth camp this past month. And honestly, we are in awe at what God is doing through this ministry that Tatis and I served in the past and we desire to continue serving. We have loved being with the youth every monday at club and throughout the week. Doors have been opening for a potential job offer for me in the next month or so with Young Life, but as we wait for answers, we are trusting that God's plans are better than ours. We ask for your prayers as we navigate this process of interviews and seeing what the Lord has for us with Young Life. In the mean time, Tatis has continued to grow his photography and videography business and I have been helping him in whatever ways I can! God has been faithful to provide for us exactly what we need, when we need it. And He has used our donors to bless us in more ways than we could ever explain.
If you have made it this far, thank you. If you are still reading, please take a moment to just pray for us as we are still processing everything. Pray for God to guard our hearts and our minds as we move forward instead of looking back. I also want to invite you into praying for our newest venture that God has led us to...
A year or so ago, I began to dream about a coffee shop with a little store and a counseling office. The dream was put way on the back burner, until about a month ago. God has opened doors that we never asked for Him to open, and has provided support over and over for this new project to become a reality. A total God thing, we were offered to rent a big retail space in a perfect location that we need your help to make this God sized dream come true! Click this link to find out more!
